A New Me

After finally speaking about the incident, and revealing the truth of what Andy Evans did to me, I feel relieved, I feel like a new person. I have a feeling that I will be able to grow from this terrible incident, and become a new Melinda Sordino. 

The Final Tree

    It was the last day of school and I still had not finished my tree project. Mr. Freeman was giving me extra time for me to finish; he didn't want to have to give me a zero, and was refusing to hand grades in on time. I had until Mr. Freeman finished covering the wall with a sunset mural. He covered up most of it, but kept my name on there until I finished.

    I made my tree unsymmetrical. It's bark carved with the initials of a long ago couple. I make a branch look sick; it's droopy and sad looking. The top is healthy and more leaves are sprouting. It's not a perfect tree, nothing is perfect. It feels right, when it's not perfect, like it's perfectly imperfect.

   Everyone knows what happened that summer. The lacrosse team did everything but keep quiet, but it's nice now; everyone accepts me. Now that they know what happened they don't hate me for calling the cops. They understand. IT probably will not get another chance to do that to anyone else, everyone knows, everyone is aware and on the lookout. Anyways, he left, taking most of it with him. I can finally start to let it go.

IT: The Cause of my Troubles

        Last summer was when the incident with IT occurred. IT is my nightmare. IT, the cause of my troubles, my depression, my sadness. IT was the cause of the situation where I stand in the current day. I can`t help it any more! I need to confess! IT is Andy Evans. Andy Evans raped me last summer in the party. I tried to tell Rachel about the incident with Andy Evans. With more reason, now that she is dating him, and going to prom with him. However, when I finally got the courage to reveal her my deepest secret, she didn´t believe me.  Would you believe your friend, or some guy you just met two or three weeks ago? I see myself, believing in my friend, but Rachel didn`t see that way. She called me a "liar", and thought I was jealous of her dating Andy Evans. I am everything but jealous, Andy Evans is the cause of my troubles, the guy I would least like to be with. 

        Rachel ended up going to prom with Andy Evans; however, when they were dancing Rachel got pissed off at him, and ended up with a kid from Portugal.  Andy was as angry as a volcano eruption, rocks and lava miles and miles away. I guess his anger reminded me of that night, when he hurt me. Andy didn`t think he raped me, he thought I wanted to too. He also told me that I screwed things up for him. Well, that`s nothing compared to what he did to me. Besides raping me and ruining my reputation in High School, he ruined years of my life with that memory. I don`t think I screwed up things for him, he on the contrary screwed up things for me in a huge way.  Meanwhile, in the closet, Andy was trying to hurt me, but this time I defended myself. I started shouting and trying to make sounds in the closet, so that somebody could help me. 

       Fortunately, Nicole and the lacrosse team where able to hear me, and saw how Andy tried to attack me. Thankfully, I was able to open the door. The word spread, and for the last days of school, I actually became popular. I guess keeping such a secret to myself was nothing but killing me on the inside. After revealing the secret, I felt like a new person.  Andy Evans raped me last August, I was drunk, and didn`t know what was happening. But I`m not going to let that kill me and damage myself any more. I will grow out of it. I will be a new Melinda Sordino.

The Suffragettes

       Mr. Neck gave us an extra credit opportunity after most of the class flunked the exam. I decided to write about suffragettes. I wrote an amazing report; stating that before the suffragettes came along, women were treated like they were not alive, they only worked like robots. I wrote about how they kept fighting until they were finally given their rights.  It was obviously the best report I had written, and I handed it in on time. Mr. Neck certainly wants me to fail the grade, or wants me to have to go to summer school. He said I had to present it infront of the class, something he had not mentioned before.

      I refused to present. I got David Petrakis to help me plan my presentation. We had great ideas. I got to class early and got everything ready. Mr. Neck said I could go first. I grabbed my report, turned around, and removed the poster hiding words on the board. My report was to be given to the class silently. Each student would read the report on their own while I just stood in front.

     Mr. Neck didn't like it. Although it was a very well written report he gives me a D and takes me to MISS. I take a trip to Principal Principal's office as well as the counselor's. They  should not be allowed to punish me for staying silent. They don't know what I've been through. Also, Mr. Neck said I had to present it, not that it HAD to be done orally or else I'd fail. I should ask David where he got his lawyer. I should get one too.

My Secret Meeting with Maya Angelou

     High School continued to be the contrary of what I expected my whole life. My only friend is Heather from Ohio, but I prefer to have her instead of being alone.  Last week I was passing through the hallway, and IT came through my sight. I was at my locker, he came walking towards me, whispering "Fresh meat". The blood through my heart was pumping faster than ever. All summer, I tried to forget that moment, and now it was all comming back. I hesitated, started sweating, I began walking down the hallway. Mr. Neck was chasing after me. I was desperate! I walked as quickly as I could, I only heard Mr. Neck´s steps, and suddenly, I entered an old janitor closet. I actually felt pretty safe in there. The next day, instead of doing after school activities, like my parents forced me, I hung out in my rubbishy old closet. I decided to clean it, decorate it, and organize it. The first thing I changed was the mirror. I covered it with a poster of Maya Angelou; an american writer that according to the librarian is the greatest writer. 

      My throat is killing me, it is always sore, and it`s getting harder to talk. I assume it`s bothering me because I don`t speak. I am also aware of my lips. They are raw, and somethimes they bleed. Talking is literally a difficult task for me. When I try to talk to one of my teachers or parents, I can`t, I freeze,  my voice won`t come out of my mouth.  The fact of keeping the incident of last summer as a secret, is killing my head. I want to transfer to another galaxy, and confess everything, give in to the guilt. It's a desperate thought inside my head, that wants desperately to reveal the secret. For this reason, it`s a good thing I found the closet. It`s a place where I can reflect and keep my emotions, and thoughts and nobody can hear or suspect them. 

The Sanctuary

      School has been nothing but a disappointment.  With no friends, and teachers making my live miserable, I found myself lost in the world. I signed up for art class, hoping that it would be a place where I can finally be myself. Mr. Freeman is the art teacher. When class began, Mr. Freeman wrote the word "Soul" on the chalkboard. What had this meant? He then began a speech, about how you should express your feelings through art. Mr. Freeman was determined to convince us that he would be the one teaching us how to find our voice, our soul. In his perspective, he wasn`t going to teach us how to draw, he would help us discover the part of us that we don´t dare to look for. Mr. Freeman is a free spirit, devoted to art and children. At the beginning of class, he introduced the project we would be doing all year long. It consisted of us picking out a subject that we would draw all year long. We would need to sketch it, sculpt it, paper-mache it or carve it. Nevertheless, at the end of the year we would need to make the subject that we were assigned, express emotion, and speak to every person who looks at it. My subject was a tree. A tree? Trees are easy, even kindergarten kids can draw them. Why would Mr. Freeman assign us to draw such easy objects. In my class, Ivy, one of my ex-friends, was assigned clowns, which terrify her.  I figure she was assigned a difficult task. However, the assignment might help her overcome her fear of clowns.

     After some classes in art class, I figured it was my sanctuary. I feel safe in it. I enjoy art, I pay attention, it interests me, and there is no need to speak. My imagination is blocked though, this limits me from giving real emotion to my trees. All I've drawn are sad trees, almost dying. Where is my imagination? Will I be able to discover my voice? The part of me hidden, that I don`t dare to discover? Will it ever come out?

First Day of Merryweather High

     My first day of school was a big disappointment. I sat alone in the bus while my old friends passed by and glared at me. They won't talk to me. Rachel, my ex best friend, only makes noises when I attempt to start a conversation. She doesn't even make an effort. If only they knew what had really happened, then they'd understand. Yet I can't tell them. It's too painful and embarrassing.

    I have no clan. All of my friends have scattered into other rival clans, leaving me behind. I'm an outcast, invisible. There's a new girl though. Her name is Heather. She's an outcast as well, so she decided to stick with me. At least I'm not that big a loser anymore, am I?

   I've already made an enemy. Mr. Neck has got it out for me. I have already gotten my first demerit. I was in lunch, going over to Heather, who seemed lonely, when someone dropped his smashed potatoes on me. I ran from the cafeteria, trying to escape the laughter, but Mr. Neck caught me.

Works Cited

Image Bibliography:

• http://melindasordino9.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/watercolor-doodle-tree-and-heart1.jpg?w=545
• http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/201303/300.MandyIngber.jc.1313.jpeg
• http://3.bp.blogspot.com/eHXjxdPAmL0/TjKrKfT3lI/AAAAAAAAANo/9mRYbgSaf3Q/s1600/Suffragettes.jpg
• http://looneytunes09.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/fullbaddream.jpg
• http://english11poets.pbworks.com/f/1193754158/maya_angelou.jpg
• https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFE5Q17xnumXEjAWUonkEj2lZdovR6yHw2ffSH2DoVVFJD14p3eOQ1ZjozO1O4KsNR4EMjvelZwpXBgfoW_ezuHS9XMsWKt550ciFKG1fpGPeo0DUJZUqqNgOsDPQNLsBVBGc9V2VbMS9W/s1600/depressed_girl.jpg

Works Cited

Anderson, Laurie Halse. Speak. New York: Farrar Straus Giroux, 1999. Print.